Cooking at Home, Away from Home

I don't have a clue how to cook Chinese food. Plus I'm living in Shanghai so it'd probably be better if I just stepped outside my door and let them do their thing. But when I'm hungry as fuck at home, I trust the good ole tuna sandwich and chicken breast to satisfy my hunger. fuck snickers.


yeahhhhh boi! ain't nothin like chicken and potatoes after wildin out w/ MSG for the past year. to be honest, i probably make this meal 3-4 times a week.... i'm not into eating out everyday, especially after the amount of times i've had food poisoning here.


I can make the best tuna salad sandwich. seriously. try this recipe next time:

red onions (chopped)
celery (chopped)
gold raisins & dried cranberries (chopped)
salt & pepper
spicy/dijon mustard
mayo

whip that shit up, put some cheese on it, you are set. if you're in the states, buy only Cento tuna, nothing else compares for the price.

Hot Pot

You can't very well go to China and not eat hot pot. For those of you that don't know or never had hot pot, it is literally... where there is a huge ass pot in the middle of the table; you order huge dishes of uncooked veggies and meat and you drop them into it to cook. When it's ready, you pick them out and dip them in a sauce and munch down with your Suntory. People spend hours at hot pot dinners. Most birthdays are spent getting drunk with like 15 of your friends in a room eating shitloads of cuts of lamb and thin noodles. Sometimes... you end up shitting your pants from 5am-11am the next day b/c you're drunk and dont 'like to let the food cook all the way before you eat it .... as was the case with me.


Lamb is to hot pot as chocolate is to Hersheys.


Chowing downnnn! Johnny Tang and his brother, Jeremy, Boss and his girl.


This is also one of the best things... you get these monstrous bones with meat on them. and then suck out the bone marrow with a straw. Fucking rad. You feel like cavemen did.

Anyone up for a slice of Testicle Pizza?

While looking for good places to eat around my area, I came across this article on Shanghai City Weekend about some chef who specializes in cooking testicles. In the article it says that eating testicles are high in testosterone..... ahaha, well no SHIT, hence the saying "Where the fuck are your balls?"

You can read more here. There's even a World Championship Testicle Cook-off.

Bacon of the Month

Best bacon in the world.

http://www.gratefulplate.com

Sign up for the Bacon of the Month club. $150, shipment of bacon per month for a year.

Black Chicken ... soup?

So I recently moved from Delaware, USA to Shanghai, CHINA and I'll probably be chillin out here for the next year. As you all may know from the news, rumors, stories as a child, etc, etc, there are some crazy fucking things to eat here in China. Now I'm not one to carry a digicam where ever I go and take photos of everything so you'll probably peep a quarter of the things that I eat here but when I get a chance, I'll try to just post up whatever.

Anyway, I went to "Kung Fu Chicken" yesterday for dinner, which is the equivalent of a McDonalds in China. Basically, it's fast food Chinese food... I know you're saying to yourself.... isn't Chinese food basically fast food? Well yeah, this is like even worst than the McDonald's shit.

I ordered Combo #3 which was labeled as garlic and herb spiced beef ribs with a bowl of rice, a side of cooked lettuce (??), and a bowl of soup. The beef ribs were okay, and the cooked lettuce was kind of weird, it was like eating a warm salad w/ vinaigrette dressing on it, but didn't taste bad, didn't really taste good, I mean I woudlnt' go out of my way to order it. And then.... the soup. WHAT THE FUCK IS A BLACK CHICKEN?? So I googled it and apparently it is known in China to be a "healing" soup. And is supposed to have like twice the amount of nutrients as regular chicken soup.

Well this is what was in my Black Chicken soup:


You can't really see from the picture, but it's not even chicken meat... it's like they spooned out the chicken's liver/heart/guts and stuck them in a bowl of hot water and gave it to me. I tasted the soup and it's not that bad, but I couldn't finish it due to the chicken organs floating around... and the black chicken skin just pouchin in my soup. Nahhhhh, I have to pass on this one.

If you look closely, you can see they used an image of Bruce Lee for their restaurant logo, hahaa. Kung Fu Chicken.... they just have used a fucking chicken in a karate outfit... i mean that would make more sense.

Anyway, there are a lot of different types of food in Shanghai, and I have yet to try the local Shanghainese cuisine. I hear they have a Drunken Shrimp dish which is they have a bowl of live shrimp, and they slowly dilute their water with saki or beer until the shrimp are ridiculously drunk. Then you eat them live and supposedly their texture or soemthing tastes good. I have GOT to try this.

Little Caesar's Hot and Ready Pizzas

Experience: Every skate trip I've been on where I've been poor has consisted largely with dollar menus and Little Caesar's Hot and Ready Pizza's. And since I've been poor as shit on every skate trip I've been on.... I've eaten a shitload of these things. They're $5 buckaroos, fill you up (for that moment) and you can share with your homies. Split between 2 people, that's only $2.50 each.... if you can't do math. They aren't exactly the best tasting pizza... I mean as basic as it comes, dough, cheap cheese, cheap pepperoni, but if you're starving, how could you complain. I don't know where else you can get a whole pizza for $5- without having to by a minimum of 3 like Pizza Hut/Domino's. So hate it or love it, if you're poor and with a bunch of other poor dudes, this is the way to go. I have to say, the best Hot and Ready Pizza I ever had was in Miami... but maybe it was because we'd been skating all day and it was the first thing we had to eat in like 10 hours.

Price: $5

Service: whatever

Rating: 6/10 ... cheap food for okay taste

Margherita's Pizza: Main St. Newark, Delaware

Place: Margherita's Pizza
Main Street, Newark, DE

Experience: Okay, okay, everyone thinks this is the best place to get pizza in Delaware... WELL YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG.

This place is a piece of shit that serves the some SHITTY ass pizza. That's right. Someone had to say it. I'll say that maybe 3 years ago, the pizza here was some what good and satisfying but in the past year +, this place has gone to shit. The toppings are old as fuck, there's hardly ever any pizza in there with tomato sauce, and the prices are up, which is undersandable since everything is getting more expensive, but now Margherita's was known for their huge slices.. which even now are fucking domino's pizza/papa johns steeze meaning, they suck major cock diesel.

So, I'll have to go ahead and give this place a fucking 3/10 stars on the star count. They need to go back to what they had going on 3-4 years ago, with some fucking fresh ingredients, that perfect crunchy yet soft crust/dough, and get that Lorenzo's Pizza style slice sizes going on. If you don't know what Lorenzo's Pizza is, get your fucking ass to 3rd and South St. in Philly if you want to know what real pizza tastes like... even that isn't even that good REALLY.

Other options: you want good pizza, go to Ciao's Pizza in Trolley Square, Wilmington Delaware. I think it's owned or run by the same people who do Margherita's but they must be doing something right b/c their pizza doesn't taste like it's been farted on.

Price: Slices: $2.00 Cheese $2.50+ for toppings

Service: ghetto ass white boys or italian dudes also trying to be gangster. They used to have real fucking italian dudes who made the pizza right and served it to you like you were a piece of shit. pizza nazi style. they gone soft

Rating: 3/10 stars